Control Causes Suffering

There is much going on in the country currently to present a facade of control. Sometimes control is a good quality in our human experience; however, much of the time control is only a fantasy that brings more harm.

While wanting control is natural, it also causes much suffering in our lives as we feel how little can actually be controlled. Rather than continuously reaching for a feeling of wellbeing through what we can control, I invite viewers in this video to experiment with surrendering control. A meditation is included.

Grand Opening Tomorrow!

I am so excited for the grand opening of the virtual studio tomorrow, September 1! Classes kick off with 45 minutes of Pump & Grind at 9am EST (sign up here!).

To welcome clients and participants to the studio, I made a little video saying hi!

HI!

Meta/Physical is a wellness studio offering fitness and yoga classes, ritual, personal training (starting February 2022), and reiki, massage, and nutrition (coming when the brick-and-mortar studio opens). We are body-positive and supportive in all wellness journeys. Our goal is to aid clients and participants in being braver in their bodies.

The Year of Radical Self Care

Most people, I think, require deep rest. If you are part of this capitalist society then you may be aware that rest is not an easily-procured thing. Oftentimes rest is considered weakness. This is true for both men and women but in some different ways.

I, like most moms with a career, have not had opportunities for rest and have had to carve time out for self-care. Once that puzzle was figured out (and it takes some trial and error), a more complicated problem emerges: how to allow that care to emerge, how to accept it.

Found a few minutes in the day to spend on caring for your needs? Figured out what to do to take care of yourself? Now the problem — how do you accept that care?

Seems like a problem fraught in privledge, and it is. It is also one grounded in the internalization of cultural ideals about women and mothers. It is also a problem of capitalism, standardized educational practices, marginalization, and stigmas about mental health, to only name a few that pop off in my mind when I think about why it has been so difficult for me to accept my plan of self-care.

Seems like a problem fraught in privledge, and it is. It is also one grounded in the internalization of cultural ideals about women and mothers. It is also a problem of capitalism, standardized educational practices, marginalization, and stigmas about mental health, to only name a few that pop off in my mind when I think about why it has been so difficult for me to accept my plan of self-care.

Here’s my confession: as soon as I sent out my resignation letters, I began what has turned into a month of frantic searching for another job. My mind cannot stop probing into what I am going to do.

Now, my husband is on board and vowed to support me financially for the next year as I supported him financially during the first two years of our relationship. He wants me to take this time, as he did, to explore and find enjoyment in my career again.

I have many questions: what are my passions now? What brings me a sense of vitality and grounding? Where is my heart? What does self-care look like in my 40s?

Anyone would be lucky to have this opportunity.

I am also taking this year of radical self-care to prepare for adoption from foster care, a process into which we are about one year.

Sounds great, right? How wonderful to have alotted this time and space for such magickal work!

But I am struggling to allow myself this space! I have an interview lined up next week and I only JUST posted grades for my last class three days ago. The panic is REALLY REAL for me, yet I am not completley sure what I am panicked about. It’s a nameless dread…always.